Are smokers the new Jews?

OK I’m feeling persecuted. I smoke and I drive a large engined car. Satan has issued a diabolical decree that such cars should pay £6,500.00 pa to use the roads their RFL and fuel tax have already paid for, while another Nazi has suggested that smokers should obtain a licence.

Several things occur to me.

1) If required to get a licence I shall immediately source all my tobacco on the black market where such a licence won’t be required. It’ll also be cheaper for me.
2) Is this just the start of more Stalinist initiatives – will licenses be required to buy booze shortly.
3) How long before I’m required to wear a fetching yellow star before being invited to a smoker’s camp for concentration purposes.
4) I could get a smaller engined car, but the carbon footprint of a new car far exceeds the emissions I will make using the existing one – so how “green” is Satan’s new scheme.
5) Can I emigrate to another freer country where the state doesn’t think it has the right to stick its nose into every corner of your life and then tax it – Zimbabwe for example.

Please God, if you’re listening (and aren’t too pissed of with us coz of the Arch Bish Of C) let this government fall, Satan be taken back to hell and the people of this country stop sleepwalking into a police state.